Do you have trouble saying no? You might be a people-pleaser.
This often results in being overworked and having a lot of stress in your daily life. You take everything and never take a break.
It’s a real problem.
Saying no is difficult if you never do it, it’s a practice-based skill and needs real-world examples.
In this article I’ll show you 3 rules of ‘saying no’ that will help you build confidence and self-respect.
1 — Value Your Time
We all have 24 hours in a day.
That’s something we cannot change so treat your time well so that you don’t regret on what you spent your time on.
One of the things that helps you save time is by saying no to the things you don’t want or don’t need. You don’t have to do every single thing that is asked of you.
You decide.
All the recent activities you’ve been through lately, have they been worth it? If not, reassess and reflect on those. What can you do to make yourself conscious of what you want to do and what not?
Practice and say no to the things that aren’t a priority.
It’s also a good tool to get your mental health back on track — saying no is a sign of confidence and self-respect. Show that off to the world and you’ll be treated with respect.
Saying no is difficult, especially when telling people that you like or respect, but it’s a necessity for yourself.
2 — Be Direct and Honest
Just say it.
Don’t circle it and come up with all kinds of excuses, you don’t have to apologize for saying no to someone.
They’ll just have to accept it.
If you’re going to think about excuses and ways to explain ‘a no’ to other people, you might think too much and even start backing out of it. It’s undermining your initial decision to be clear and say no.
It’s fine just to say no to something — people can handle stuff like that and they should not make their problems yours. You can give just a short explanation for it if you want to acknowledge the other person’s position.
Because it can be inconvenient for someone else that you say no — just don’t make it a big thing.
That’s unnecessary and you don’t want that.
3 — Offer Alternatives (When Possible)
You’re often going to run into situations where you say no to someone you’re working with — you’re a team.
What might help to make it easier for yourself and the other person is to offer alternatives and solutions. Make the other person feel that you’re not letting them down.
Here are a couple of suggestions:
If possible, suggest another time. You might not want to do something right now but that doesn’t mean it’s forever.
Sometimes, you can refer someone else. If you know someone who can help the other person — suggest contacting him or her.
Meet in the middle, if you can’t help for the full amount of time, maybe half an hour or just a quick talk.
Make it work for yourself.
Giving something is better than giving nothing. This makes it different from a straight-up rejection.
It’s constructive.
Final Thoughts
Saying no is a real skill.
Most self-aware people have trouble saying no to things. It’s a very well-known issue. But you can learn it.
Teach yourself to say no by practice.
If you don’t say no in the real world, you’ll never learn and always will have trouble doing it.
And reflect on yourself if you feel guilty, I often do. Because I choose for myself I think that another person will not like me anymore — this isn’t the case.
Most people don’t care and start thinking for themselves as well and start looking for a solution instead of blaming you.
But by saying more no, you’ll help yourself — it will increase your confidence and self-respect, and that will only make saying no easier.